So..this is a big problem. My brother came home from South Carolina with his girlfriend and their two little boys. For the first time in years, more people got together than just me, my boys and my folks. Sooo...my mom cooked. I should have been prepared. I walk into their little house, and I am hit in the face with a wall of hot oven heat. It is mid August...and nothing like my mom baking in that small house. On the stove are about 30 homemade biscuits. All I am thinking is that I will not eat a biscuit...I will not eat a biscuit. Hers are made with lard. And...tons of butter on top. These are not something I ever make at home, nor would I ever eat them. And...I haven't eaten them in YEARS...but I guess my mom wanted to surprise my brother. I have no idea. And, then I realized what the rest of her menu consisted of. On the stovetop, she had a huge pot, the kind you boil water for pasta in, filled with homemade sausage gravy. There was a plate of crispy bacon and spicy sausage patties next to it. In a huge cast iron skillet, about 4 pounds of potatoes were chopped up and sprinkled very heavily with salt and pepper. And, just as happy as can be, there was my mom standing at the stove asking me what kind of eggs I would like. She was surprising us with breakfast for dinner. I almost fainted. She knows that I am struggling with body issues right now. I have watched HER struggle with body issues since the day I was old enough to recognize that my mom wasn't quite as thin as the other moms. My brother's girlfriend is obese as well. I kindly told her I would not be having any eggs, that there was more than enough food to fill me up. I ate a bunch of strawberries and grapes that she had cut up and had on the table for the kids. Then, I proceeded to crumble up a biscuit, and put gravy on top. Then I took one slice of bacon. Then, I took a scoop of potatoes, and to top it off, a little gravy on that too. I am overweight...and I never eat like this. My mom hasn't cooked like this in years. And I can't help but feel that she is secretly sabotaging me. I swear when I walked in...after asking me what kind of eggs I wanted, she said if I wanted something a little healthier that she had some leftover chicken alfredo in the fridge instead. WTF. The only positive thing in this scenario is that I did get to spend time with my family. Normally...this is done at my house. Mostly everybody comes to my house for celebrations because...1. I am a great cook. 2. I am dead in the middle of where everyone lives. It makes me happier to cook the food myself because then I KNOW what is in it. I KNOW what I can afford to eat and not eat. Soo...I did eat very unhealthy today. Tomorrow is a new day. But, sometimes I get tired of saying that to myself.
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